Male by birth, Man by choice

Everyday the walking up to office in marine aquaculture centre has been tiring. However, it is certain that the training has not only improved my stamina by my leg and thigh muscles. I felt stronger now. After all I have been through in MAc and life experience People see me differently now, I am aging! A word to put it across. Though it seems that my appearence haven't been changing for the past years lol. People start to question me in mac, are you aging? Night running helps too. When others are on msn and chatting, I am running and jogging. Doing push ups and f*ter kicks( Spelling forgotten). Hopefully by end of two months, all these training will be fruitful.

Busy with my major project, this week has been very tough. I have got to sleep at 2.00a.m. for almost every single day. But at least I got to play soccer with them.

The funny thing is I didnt realise I was good at it, only when I dont do too much dribbling and pass the ball more often. Ah Seng, the one who always organise soccer matches in st John's island asked me to say this sentence for 10 times. " I will and must pass the ball later". Incredibly, it really sank into my head. I became the star player who scored 2goals in almost every game. I think Ah seng acknowledged me liao. kekekeke!

My parents have decided to send me to queensland Australia if I can't get into a local university. I was thinking to obtain deferment from NS first and head to Australia right after I graduated from polytechnic, but I wanted to be physically stronger and mentally too. That is why there is a dilemia going or not to go? I will definitely miss Singapore and all my memories. But I will have friends in Australia unless I got a car to drive there, I can meet Ivan, Sri, Denne, and perhaps long lost RO friends..... 

Next April there maybe an application for it. AH! I missed a chance for free application last Saturday and Sunday.

Be independent and stay focus.

It is really not sandfly bites, I was allergic to something that I do not know. Believe it or not, I just climbed underneath the bioreactor to pick up something that I dropped. I think the floor is dirty or I would say contaminated with either sodium thiosulphate, sodium hypochlorite or something else much like bacteria? haha I hate my pus forming arms and leg but it isn't very obvious unless you shined it upon light. 

Now buying medicines is so expensive 49 bucks just a visit, I am definitely going to lose my allowance money. I should have taken a good care of myself. Going to st john's island really explains why NS is a steping stone for guys.

 What kind of family problem it is? Is my problem, it's all my fault? Am I feeling like breaking down. Definitely. I would say I feel disappointed in myself be it being a useful me or relationship? My mother just don't understand me. As a 19 year old, I should be sailing, having different adventures, fishing, learning some instruments, playing guitar playing violin. I feel like I have wasted my childhood and part of my life. I always wanted to travel, do new stuff, try new and extraordinary things. But I feel that I am locked up inside, and I am so lonely. 

And I just said to her in the future i want to learn to play a violin, and she said it is impossible, inpractical. cut the bullshit. I control my own life not her. Painstakenly apologise to her? ya I did of cos she is my mother. But all she thinks of me is a studying freak.

Really I need help, And I just learnt one thing about relationships, is to never threaten a lady to a breakup. It will hurt her and she will leave you eventually.

Feel like breaking down yes, tired, sick, emotionally? I don't know, But I see through this world enough.....

 It's really unbelieveable that I have to work on this saturday and  sunday. But I would expect the malay  workers to  enjoy themselves, anyway is like their new year.

I got bites from sand flies and it really feels terrible and itchy at the same time. You wouldnt want to get bites from them. They are blood suckers.

Heroes is cool. Watch the series and how they show their abilities, pretty exciting when watching it. Trust me you will love it.

Tonight was a tough night, I have carry flu and a sore throat around to changi airport for a gathering with my friends. But I seem very alert at that time not bad eh!

i still miss changi airport, I would think of where can I travel. There is one thing I learnt those people who travel often will feel very differently about travelling than those never travel that often. I think that's true, certainly those people may travel for other purposes such as business. Maybe this mentality is wrong, travelling is good to a certain extent. 

In popeye, it was so tempting to eat chicken instead i took a bite of fish fillet. I really hope come back and eat the chicken again. It really does seem different from KFC though. Looks like it!

I will always remember the day whereby we stared outside the glass wall waiting for some plane to depart, in the end we started talking crap! and the bad new is i will have to work on Saturday and Sunday. There goes my weekends.

This is my first time writing a journal in here. Actually, I was thinking of writing a diary but  I'm lazy to write it down so I have choosen live journal. Another reason why i am writing a journal is I do not want to lose a close friend. At least we can look at each other's journal once in a while.

This is my story.

It was definitely enjoyable in St john's island but too bad for me, I have a MC. Due to the fact that someone spread some virus to infect my throat and I know who he is. Yesterday, I was on leave but I thought that my flu and cold isn/t that bad so I accompanied my friends to watch Resident Evil. I don't like the ending as it never ends -.-. But when all the audience were watching, it was as if they were playing the game.

It seemed that when I entered st john's island, I have changed, I became mentally stronger, physically stronger too. I have to carry pails of water everyday. Now I can do more push ups. You might be wondering how physical it is in st john's island aka Kusu island. I hope to slim down and also hope that my excercising results are fruitful. The people there are all nice to me but of course there are criticisms everywhere you go. I learnt a very important phase that is male by birth and man by choice. There are few things I want to change about myself but indeed it has already been done without me noticing it. I actually need help in grooming myself, still stack in my old fashioned wear.

Facebook, it is a good way of connecting with people but it is lame. We should all try it, I think it is much better than friendster.